Sometime commenter “Cassie” asks poignantly on her blog, Relaxed Politics: How do you know when you’re grown up?
. . . I am asking because I will be 18 in a few weeks and everything in my life is changing. It seems like graduating from high school is the least of the changes, and the one I am most ready for.
The biggest change may be that I will be allowed to use my last name and my real photo on facebook, if I want, instead of the silly silhouettes I’ve been using for three years.
No, that’s just the change I am enjoying considering, even though I hate my senior portrait and will probably have it re-done.
There’s more at Cassie’s blog — click over there, you will be grateful. I have more than 150 students this semester who ask the same question. Got advice?
Cassie has more reason than most kids to ask, but I’ll wager that the answers are similar regardless the kid’s situation.
Millard Fillmore's Bathtub 
From a neurological standpoint, you’ve probably heard about the prefrontal cortex not being mature in 18-year-olds. In case you haven’t: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2002163863_healthteenmoods30.html
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Take a look at Cassie’s post. She’s more grown up than most of us in many ways. And for most of that case, good on her, but it’s pretty sad, when you hear the reasons why.
Which is not to say any of us couldn’t use a hug from Mom from time to time — even when our mothers are long gone.
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I don’t think most “kids” are grown up at 18. It seems to me that being grown up means taking responsibility for your life. It involves living on your own. Making decisions about your future. Finding a job. Developing mature relationships that involve more than sex or being with the hottest kid in your peer group. Most importantly, being grown up means being able to know (and say) when you’re wrong, and a certain open-mindedness about everything… from politics to religion to football. It’s being able to say “my team isn’t that great, but I’m sticking with them anyway” or “My team isn’t that great, time to change teams” and have a reason for making that choice beyond social acceptance.
Growing up never “feels” grown up. At 20, 30 or 50 you still feel like a kid sometimes, look in the mirror and are surprised at how old you’ve gotten.
Some people grow up at 18, some people grow up at 40. Some people never grow up. Age only allows you to vote, register for the draft, and buy a case of beer. It doesn’t come with any magical transformations. Those have to be earned.
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