By Dan Valentine
What an enjoyable time I had yesterday. I hadn’t written off the top of my head–without rewriting and rewriting, polishing and polishing (taking all the life out of it)–and pushed “submit” in years, if ever.
It was so gratifying I asked Ed if he’d permit me to write a daily (or sporadic) piece on his website, about my adventures; how someone like me, or anyone, can become homeless; how you lose a million bucks; about my dad and mom and sister and brother; my years with Sen. Hatch; working for the Tribune; my years in New York, my travels; the times; my two marriages; my beloved friend in Houston; my love for dogs, etc. I have just enough–well, not quite–social security coming to travel from town to town, hostel to hostel, state to state …
And he said go ahead.
So here goes. No polishing, no rewriting, no editor (this could be a mistake). So forgive the grammar and spelling and typos. I reread yesterday’s comment and found the word “message” typed instead of “massage”.
Where to start?
My dad was a genius. IQ-wise. During World War II, he served in the infantry. Got malaria storming Guadalcanal. Sent to Suva to recuperate. Become editor of the South Pacific News. Wrote for Armed Forces Radio. Became good friends with two fellow soldiers. Together, the three had dreams of conquering Hollywood. One’s name was Jack Paar. Yeah, that Jack Paar. The other was Hy Averback, who produced “F Troop” and directed “MASH.” After the war, they got together in Hollywood, but my dad’s dream was to be a newspaperman. His father was one. So he left Hollywood to become one. My dad was born in Saginaw, Mich., and the state of Michigan gave a free car to every returning veteran or something like that. My dad drove to Las Vegas, decided to see if he could double his money. Lost the car, hitchhiked to Salt Lake. Looked around. Decided he didn’t want to stay there. Got a job in Nebraska with UPI or AP. Can’t remember which.
Back to the IQ-story. He got in an argument with an officer over something, words were exchanged. My dad said he was a stupid son-of-a-bitch or something like that and could prove it, spotting him 10 points on an IQ test. And the officer wrote him up for it. He was found innocent when an officer upon hearing the story said, “There’s no law against an enlisted man thinking he’s smarter than an officer.”
Which reminds me of another story. As I said, my dad was editor of the South Pacific News, and one night he got a call from another officer to deliver a paper to him, hot off the press. My dad said, “I stopped delivering papers when I was ten,” and hung up.
A few minutes later, an admiral showed up and said, “Who said?”
It was Admiral Halsey.
My dad meekly said, “I did, sir.”
And Halsey supposedly said, “That was a damn good answer, son.”
My point being? How does someone like me, with more than a million bucks at one time, become homeless? The answer is: My dad was a genius. His first-born son ain’t!!!
Tho’ my dad has been wrong about some things. He used to say, “I’ve never been rich and I’ve never been poor. I’ve had the best of both worlds.”
Joe E. Lewis used to say, “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better.”
My dad was wrong. Joe E. Lewis was right.
Tho’ I would not trade this experience for anything in the world.
Millard Fillmore's Bathtub 
no idea if you’ll see this. i realise i’m waaay behind on my blog-reading. but i’d just like to say i enjoyed this piece. looking forward to reading more!
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I just discovered your note. (I’m still learning my way around this website.) Thanks for your support and so much more. It’s lonely out here. You don’t know who’s reading.
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Superb, Dan! Love reading your ramblings and after both writing for the newspaper and then blogging and doing it without and editor, I find it much more liberating and freeing to blog! Enjoy yourself, write to your heart’s content, and know you’ve got a loyal reader here in Nashville. I would also like to use your story, with your permission, in the trainings I do nationally for SAMHSA, because it helps break the stigma and stereotypes of homelessness. Will you please contact me? And by the way, I may be able to get you a writing gig for a national site that deals with homelessness. You’d be perfect and i can refer you in. Doesn’t pay a lot but it does indeed pay – and it would definitely NOT interfere w your ss checks – but it would add a few dollars to your pockets doing what you love to do – WRITE!
You once told me you couldn’t make any money writing because of the internet; your exact words were, “everything’s free on it!” How would you like to turn that on it’s head for a little payback, eh? :-)
You can reach me at findstevefast@gmail.com or at 615-693-9302
Peace my friend – love your stuff and knew you would be amazing!
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