Evan at Two Dishes but to One Table provides some salient commentary on the New York Regents test and practical math skills, with a little bit of Henny Youngman thrown in. Though, I must admit my physics chops are rusty: How many newtons to a chicken egg? I’m almost clueless.
Warning to dilettentes: Link to actual released Regents test included.
Spread the word; friends don't allow friends to repeat history.
One of my favorite comedy routines from the Master of Voices, Mel Blanc, and his accomplice Jack Benny:
We were talking about this old routine today, and sure enough, we could find it on YouTube.
In 1974, they repeated it for old times’ sake, on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson:
Note: May 22 is the anniversary of the last time Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show, in 1992. George Bush the elder was president then; the Soviet Union had been out of existence only five months. Osama bin Laden was a little-known, former ally of the U.S. in the Russo-Afghanistan war. E-mail was just coming on, cell-phones were rare and expensive, as well as analog, wireless broadband hadn’t been invented. Apple was still making computers far, far behind the IBM-compatible PCs — new chips like the 486 promised a revolution in computing. A lifetime ago.
Why is this post tagged “animation?” You remember, don’t you? Blanc was the guy who did almost every voice in the Warner Bros. cartoons from the classic era. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn . . . as someone noted, remarkable to think Yosemite Sam and Tweety Bird are the same guy.
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One day on campus a local radio station did a live broadcast from the quad of the college, with their right-wing, flag-waving, self-proclaimed patriot “on a mission for God and Country” loud-mouthed cigar-smoking host.
The Marine watched, stunned, as the radio host goaded the college crowd by saying, “Is God real? Of course He is. And He favors our glorious war in Iraq, and He favors waterboarding every ‘towel-head’ we can catch — the more the better. Do I think that’s unChristian? No — and here’s my offer: God, if you disagree and think we shouldn’t be waterboarding everyone who might bear ill-will to the U.S. of A., you can come down here, knock me off this platform and shut off my microphone in the next ten minutes.”
The crowd fell silent. You could hear the pigeons on the statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest cooing, but even they got quieter.
Five minutes went by, the station cut to a series of ads, and then the radio host proclaimed, ‘”Here I am God. I’m still waiting. Do you think we should take it easy on our enemies, or torture them because they deserve it?” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine strode out of the crowd, walked up to the radio host, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. Then the marine found the switch on the microphone and turned it off. Even the radio station’s engineer was too stunned to do anything. The radio guy was out cold.
The Marine went back into the crowd and sat down on the grass, silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. No one even called campus police. Eventually the radio station called the engineer on his cell phone and everyone heard the engineer describe what had just happened. “No, he’s out cold.” But the radio announcer was stirring.
The talk jock eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What the h— is the wrong with you, you f——up m———-ing dope smoker? Why did you do that?”
The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, God sent me. If we waterboard their guys, our soldiers will have worse stuff done to them. That punch was from every Marine and soldier in Iraq and Afghanistan who wants to come home to his wife and children.”
Is this a true story? Is it funny? Is it tragic? What is it?
A television station in College Station-Bryan, Texas, KBTX (Channel 3, a CBS affiliate) ran a poll on what Texas schools should be doing about evolution in biology classes. After hearing for days from the creationists on the State Board of Education that most people think creationism should be taught, the results are a little astounding:
Results: How do you think science should be taught in Texas schools?
“How can you vote in favor of Pi Day, if it’s just one day. Pi Day should be forever,” said Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah.
Chaffetz was one of just 10 members of Congress to oppose designating March 14th as Pi Day, meant to encourage math education. It honors the famous number pi (the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter), which starts as 3.14 and goes on forever.
When asked if this is really why he voted against the resolution, Chaffetz said, “Absolutely.”
Wild Sumatran tiger - "Face on with wild tiger in Sumatra. This animal didn't like camera traps and destroyed three over a weekend." Photo by Michael Lowe, 2006, Wikimedia Commons. See William Blake's poem, below.
On Sunday, a tiger attacked and killed a man carrying logs near an illegal logging camp, Wurjanto said. Two other loggers in the same area were mauled and killed on Saturday.
Preliminary findings suggested the attacks were taking place because people were disturbing the habitat of the tigers, Wurjanto said.
* * * * *
The Sumatran tiger is the most critically endangered of the world’s tiger subspecies.
Forest clearances, killings due to human-tiger conflict, and illegal hunting for the trade in their parts, have led to tiger numbers halving to an estimated 400-500 on the Indonesian island from an estimated 1,000 in the 1970s, conservationists said.
Under Texas law, a homeowner may use deadly force to stop trespassers, especially someone who poses a threat to the homeowner and the property. I wonder whether the tigers will even get a trial.
A tree poacher mauled to death by the endangered tigers whose habitat he destroys: Perfect example of poetic justice.
Geoffrey Stanford’s teachers always tell him to read tests carefully.
Caption from the Wichita Eagle: East High School junior Geoffrey Stanford discovered a word usage error on the state writing assessment last week. The state is sending out a corrected version of the test. (Photo by Jaime Oppenheimer, Wichita Eagle)
Every sentence. Every word. Slow down. Make sure you understand what’s being asked, and then proceed.
So while taking his state writing test last week, the East High junior saw something that didn’t make sense: The word “emission” — as in “the emission of greenhouse gases” — was spelled “omission.”
“I thought, ‘Surely they’re not talking about leaving out carbon dioxide altogether.’ It just didn’t make sense,” said Stanford, 17. “It had to be a mistake.”
It was.
Stanford, a linebacker and International Baccalaureate student, alerted English teacher Jennifer Fry, who alerted the district test coordinator, who alerted state education officials, who were, as you might imagine, embarrassed.
Another teacher pointed it out to me: A condom wrapper, on the stairs. It was a Trojan brand.
“So,” she wondered: “Are we displeased that the students are having sex, ostensibly in the building since the wrapper is on the stairs; or are we happy that they’re using protection?”
Spread the word; friends don't allow friends to repeat history.
Pete, as the squirrel has come to be known, shows up most days at Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hants, England (near Portsmouth, in southeast England).
“We don’t think he is a mutant squirrel but he may have had a mishap around the school, [said Dr Mike Edwards, an English teacher at the school.]
“The old building where we have seen him nipping in and out is a bit of a graveyard for computer printers. He may have found some printer toners in there.
“We haven’t seen any purple baby squirrels yet.”
TV wildlife expert Chris Packham believes Pete will moult and lose his purple fur in time for spring.
He said: “I have never seen anything like it before.
“Squirrels will chew anything even if it’s obviously inedible. It is possible he has been chewing on a purple ink cartridge and then groomed that colouring into his fur.
“Alternatively he may have fallen into a bucket containing a weak colour solution that has stained his fur.
“Underneath there’s a normal grey squirrel who has just given himself an unusual hair colour – you would pay a fortune for that in some salons.
What will creationists make of this?
Squirrels come in different colors naturally, too. The squirrels common throughout the eastern U.S., the eastern grey squirrel, have a black variant in some parts of Canada and the U.S. Some of these black squirrels were imported to Washington, D.C., during the Theodore Roosevelt administration. When we lived in Cheverly, Maryland (1983-1987), we had families of black squirrels spotted among the grey squirrels in our next-door forest. The two groups rarely mixed, oddly enough.
East of the Russell Senate Office Building there was an albino squirrel for several years, prior to 1985. One friend said she’d seen at least two at the same time in the same park. White squirrels show up from time to time, either albinos or mutants. Naturally, squirrels tend to be either grey or reddish-brown, most of the time.
Purple squirrels in business slang — the perfect candidate for an open job, with all the qualifications (or “all the nuts”), but of course, a candidate who does not exist (Here’s a chance to retool your “hell freezes over jokes” for business recruiter audiences)
It struck me today: Don’t the political events of the past year make a powerful argument that there is an afterlife, and that Molly Ivins is finally taking control of some of the supernatural strings?
Or, until that account is unsuspended by the forces supporting Donald Trump: Follow @FillmoreWhite, the account of the Millard Fillmore White House Library
We've been soaking in the Bathtub for several months, long enough that some of the links we've used have gone to the Great Internet in the Sky.
If you find a dead link, please leave a comment to that post, and tell us what link has expired.
Thanks!
Retired teacher of law, economics, history, AP government, psychology and science. Former speechwriter, press guy and legislative aide in U.S. Senate. Former Department of Education. Former airline real estate, telecom towers, Big 6 (that old!) consultant. Lab and field research in air pollution control.
My blog, Millard Fillmore's Bathtub, is a continuing experiment to test how to use blogs to improve and speed up learning processes for students, perhaps by making some of the courses actually interesting. It is a blog for teachers, to see if we can use blogs. It is for people interested in social studies and social studies education, to see if we can learn to get it right. It's a blog for science fans, to promote good science and good science policy. It's a blog for people interested in good government and how to achieve it.
BS in Mass Communication, University of Utah
Graduate study in Rhetoric and Speech Communication, University of Arizona
JD from the National Law Center, George Washington University
May 21, 2009 at 9:23 pm Question: What do Don McLeroy and a catfish have in common?
Answer: A distant ancestor.
This might help to explain some of the behavior we’re seeing.