Love this scam: “Don’t bother contacting the FBI about our illegal activities — we already have”

Ya gotta give them scammers points for creativity and sense of humor, no?

My spam filter picked this up, but it’s just too good not to share, exactly as displayed here:

Attn: Beneficiary..
Friday, February 13, 2009 6:40 PM
“Mueller” <>
Add sender to Contacts
Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crimes Division.
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
J. Edgar. Hoover Building, Washington D.C.

Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Danail Smith, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none
officials of Zenith Bank and some impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation agents. During our investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not
fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry of Finance on your behalf, and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in the total amount of $800.000.00 USD which will be deposited into an ATM CARD
which you will use to withdraw funds anywhere of the world. You now have the lawful right to claim your funds which have been deposited into the ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been involved in this Transaction, you are now to be rest assured that this transaction is legitimate and completely risk-free as it is our duty to protect and Serve citizens of the United States of America.

All you have to do is immediately contact the ATM CARD CENTER via E-mail for instructions on how to procure your Approval Slip which contains details on how to receive and activate your ATM CARD for immediate use to withdraw funds being paid to you. We have confirmed that the amount required to procure the Approval Slip will cost you a total of $200 USD which will be paid directly to the ATM CARD CENTER agent via Western Union Money Transfer /Money Gram Money Transfer.
Below, you shall find contact details of the Agent whom will process your transaction from Federal Ministry of Finance:

OFFICE LINE:  +2348061325890

Immediately you contact Dr. Peter Water of the ATM Card Center with the following information:

Full Name:
Zip Code:
Direct Phone Number:
Current Occupation:
Annual Income:

Once you have sent the required information to Dr. Peter Water he will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of $200 USD for the Approval Slip after which he will proceed towards delivery of the ATM CARD without any further delay. You have hereby been authorized guaranteed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be NO delay once payment for the Approval Slip has been made to the authorized agent.

Once you have completed payment of $200 to the agent in charge of this transaction, immediately contact us back for more investigation for conformation of your ATM card.

Federal Bureau Investigation
Robert S. Mueller III Director, FBI
Contact us at:

Don’t you love it? “Dr. Peter Water.”  “fbiwroberts”  (probably formerly the Dread Pirate Roberts), at an e-mail address “”  How many punctuation errors, spelling errors, grammar errors?

Maybe these guys could be persuaded to take the next step, too:  Lock themselves up, and throw away the key.

If no one gets suckered in with these hoaxes, why do they continue?  And since it seems someone is getting suckered in, who?

(Yeah, I stripped out a lot of code; these guys are really smarmy.  I’ve left the e-mails as they were in the note.  If you wish to contact these guys, go ahead.)

And check out this post at Tangled Up In Blue Guy — he’s got a bunch of ’em.

7 Responses to Love this scam: “Don’t bother contacting the FBI about our illegal activities — we already have”

  1. M. Carter says:

    I received a letter purportedly from the FBI stating that $10,500,000 From the CBN Bank Nigeria District had been found by them and and that they needed confirmation from me that I indeed have a right to collect this money. What struck me was that they never asked for payment from me or provided a link to make a payment to. The letter stated that if I did not contact the FBI, I would be charged with illegally transferring money from another country. Because of the lack of a link, I did contact the FBI by phone and was immediately told to ignore it. If they wanted to contact me, it would NOT be by email! How stupid are these people getting that they fail to include the most important part, a place to send a payment to?


  2. Donna Gomez says:

    I was going to contact the fbi to show the following doc. I usually do not open these scam letters, I’m sick to death of them thinking Americans are so stupid. I would hate for some innocent person to actually fall for this. thank you donna gomez


    (under the auspices of EFCC)

    3rd July, 2009

    Attention: ,

    I have been contacted by the FBI concerning your DIST document.

    The Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) as being demanded by the FBI is most vital in having your fund authenticated. It will further clear you and your fund of any involvement in any acts of terrorism funding and/or money laundering. In this DIST document, you will find your certificate of ownership, money laundering and anti-terrorist clearance certificate, and diplomatic seal(yellow tag} All of these are contained there in.

    It might interest you to know that the FBI in your country contacted me and demanded that I issue you with the Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) for authentication of your fund being illegaly moved to USA. They are aware of the cost of the document. And it is your statutory obligation as the fund beneficiary to have the fee paid and obtain the DIST document. It would be of grave consequence if you ignore this. Those that ignored this in the past are languishing in Jail! I have procured this document to many Americans that needed to be cleared by the FBI. My candid advise is that you should have this document obtained and presented to Mr. Robert Swan Mueller and John Pistole of the FBI who are in charge of this whole matter. That way, you will be freed and your fund released to you. Failure will buttress the fact that you are into money laundering, drug and/or possible terrorism financing. And of course, you know the resultant effect of this. Your lawyer will only be out there looking for a way to bail you out while you rot in jail. She/He cannot defend a Federal case like this. This is a matter of National security. Think about this. Your innocence in this will only be proven by this DIST document.

    To have this obtained, there is a stipulated amount of money being expected from the fund beneficiary to pay. This is a subsidized rate by the United Nations(UN) and International Monetary Fund(IMF) to make it affordable to any potential fund beneficiary. Therefore, it is your duty to have the fee of US$875.00 paid and have this document obtained in 3-working days. We, therefore; advise that you send the fee of US$875.00 for immediate procurement of this vital document being requested by the FBI authority in your country.

    Send the Fee through western union Money transfer using our protocol officer’s fee receiving information as shown below:

    AMOUNT: US$875.00

    Note that there is no way you will be cleared of this illegality without you presenting this document to the FBI authority. Once the fee is paid, we shall procure the document and send to the FBI for verification and subsequent release of your fund. You must, therefore; send this fee as soon as possible. Failure would indicate that you are into money laundering and possible terrorism acts, and this will make the FBI come for you.

    We shall be waiting for the payment information when this is done within the stipulated time period. Once done, send us the MTCN, sender’s name and address. These will enable us pick the fee here and proceed to the document procurement unit and have it obtained in your favour.

    Sgt. Adaa Sim


  3. opit says:

    I trust you saw where Citibank got nailed for $27 million in bogus bank transfers.


  4. EliRabett says:

    You really really really have to visit scam o rama: The boys from Lagos where the best of these are eviscerated. It turns out that there are folk with too much time on their hands who like to play with these guys.


  5. Mike says:

    Thanks, Ed!


  6. Mike says:

    I have been doing my Friday Feature on 419-related scams, partly because they are funny but more because people have actually fallen for them and lost far more than $200 through them. Victims have been kidnaped and murdered by getting deeper and deeper into the web that these criminals weave. I hope that with enough blogging and publicity about them, then people will start viewing these sorts of e-mails critically and avoid them.

    Last Friday’s was on a similar line as this one you published. It was an award from “The Obama’s Foundation for the Victims of Scams.” The award was $99 million.


  7. G. Broaddus says:

    My favorite part is the “Federal Ministry of Finance” – obviously, the author is unfamiliar with US government. (This comes to mind as I think toward the beginning of my unit on Orwell’s 1984 that I start tomorrow, with its Ministries of Love, Truth, etc.) The phone number is also sort of a dead giveaway in that regard, too.

    This doesn’t beat my favorite phishing E-mail, however, which was one of the stock IRS refund check ones. I always look at the URL of the “Click here” links, and this URL was a page on a subdomain of My first thought: “The IRS has set up shop in Iran? I didn’t think we were that far yet!”


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